Long Time

I've been really busy lately. They have me working on so many thing that I'm not even sure I can still manage college and work at the same time. Between one thing and another, I loose my focus every ten minutes or so. I guess it doesn't hurt to keep trying. I need a shower... I think I might go home early and take one and play some video games. Its a shame I have a ton of homework due tonight. I guess I should do that first. Too much to think about. Oh well.
JGD

Chaos again

I have an intense migrane. I want to go to bed. I wish I could put up something useful. But all I got for you is this. I'll post more later. This is just to let you know I'm not dead.
JGD

Calm center

I hope this isn't similar to a storm, because that would mean the worst is yet to come. I took my medicine again, the kind that keeps your from going insane while people arn't paying attention. I feel a little less angry today, and that is probably why. I have bills I still need to pay, so I'll have to get on top of that. There is so much that I want to do, and need to do that I just don't have time to do. I guess we are going to have to stay up really late from now on. But I'm glad someone is here...I slept though my alarm clock this morning. So maybe its a good thing I'm not all alone.
JGD

Total Letdown

Okay, I'm getting a little sick of people backing out on me after saying they will do something. First my to be roommate says, "Oh, I don't think I want to live off campus this semester. I'll just stay." the day BEFORE I go to sign the lease for the apartment we decided on. So I scramble, and now live in a crappy ass small apartment with a dog, cat, and boyfriend. Very annoying. And now this! I go hunting for a sewing machine to meet a deadline at work because, well, they are just to cheap to have one, besides they have soldering irons out the wazoo but no sewing machine for airframe jackets of any kind. So I find one, its the girlfriend of a guy I had classes with, and also a guy who works in the same building with me. Cool, I know her, she knows me, she knows I take good care of my crap. WRONG! She sends me a message on FACEBOOK to let me know that she wants to back out since she doesn't feel safe letting her poor sewing machine settle into the hands of a seamstress's daughter. So...now I'm royally messed, because I already sent the email out to the rest of my team letting them know that I had found one and would be able to meet our deadline no problem. Now I get to scramble around my boyfriends mothers place all 4th of July weekend when I should be relaxing hutting for a sewing machine just so I have something to work with to put together an airframe jacket. Damn, all I needed was a few stitches down the side and along the bottom. Tada, airframe jacket! People piss me off when they back out. I'm really beginning to get tired of it. I'm about to go psycho on people just to let them know that if they say they are going to do something, they better freakin' KEEP TO IT! No more of this backing out last minute nonsense. It really pisses me off...and I'm gonna let people know about it, so be forewarned. Don't tell me one thing, then come to me last minute and say you won't do it, you will be royally bitched out. I honestly don't care if you think I'm a bitch for it, I just don't feel like putting up with that kind of shit anymore. If you say your gonna do it, do it.

Nature

Things flow easily through time with the simplicity and serenity of a gentle breeze. However, the road you must travel to follow this flow of time isn't smooth and simple. There are many bumps and pitfalls along the way. I can't tell if I've messed up and fallen down, or if I'm just barely scratched and ready to sprint after the goal at the end of this rocky road. Things are so confusing. "Knowledge is the journey, truth is the destination." That is what we are so determinant to find. The question is this though, will we ever find that truth and how will we know if we reached it?

I just want to bury myself in the clam of nature. Its ever changing, peaceful ways that make my heart stop aching for the problems of the world. My anxiety ridden life seems to wash away with that peace that comes to mind when spending a moment in Nature.

Anxiety

There are alot of things wrong with me. A lot of them have to do with my poor health. Beyond having miserable cartilage on the left side of my body, I have RLS due to lack of physical exercise after years of Basketball, Volleyball, and Cross Country. I have also developed allergies to something up here in Morehead. On top of all of this, I'm dyslexic, so if I type things backwards and don't catch it, I'm sorry. But included in this I have a high anxiety disorder that causes moments of random depression. Currently I'm in that slump.

With this new job, has come a lot of pressure. And through that pressure and interaction with other people, I've become very anxious seeing as I'm currently the only female, and the youngest in our team. I don't really have the experience that everyone else has so I'm having to pick up everything from the beginning, and am thus being criticized for not knowing what it is that I need to do. Its very frustrating. I don't feel comfortable around everyone. Sometimes I wish I could just go hide in a corner and cry my eyes out for hours at a time. Its makes it nearly impossible to associate with anyone. I just don't feel like I belong in the technical aspect of it all. Well, I must get back to work. Till another time. JGD

KYSat Advanced

Well, now that I'm out of training and have a chance to type more, I'll say a bit more about what KYSat is all about. We are building KY's first satellite. As a team of 10-12 college graduate and undergraduate students ranging in areas from physics to computer science, we collaborate across the state of KY to put together and monitor CubeSats. They are 10cm x 10cm x 10cm cubes that function as working satellites. However, we have to design and develop all the processes and functions as well as come up with all the orbit information and, well, we keep the darn thing running. We are currently proposing to launch our KYSat-1 with an OCO mission with NASA. We just did the proposal the other day and are awaiting the final selection process. The satellite should be launched early 09. ANYWAY- I made the team as of last week, and have been rushed into all this information head long. I'm not specifically certain of what my job will be, I just know that it will be rather difficult to understand everything right away. I'm really excited.

On another note, my poor boyfriend has been attacked by my cat during his sleeping the other night. I'm currently out of town, and he is staying at the apartment. I'm afraid that he will have that problem constantly. Unfortunately, my cat is also eating my plants *grrrr* so we may have to come up with another way to keeping her away from them and discouraging her from eating them. Any suggestions are welcome. I also need to get her some cat grass, which might help her in her quest for vegetation to chew on. Anyway, I'm off to see what other kind of trouble I can get into. Until another time.
JGD